With divorce cases that involve children, judges in Texas will always put the best interests of the child above all else, and since it's been shown that children benefit from spending as much time as possible with both parents, they will often award joint managing conservatorship, or joint custody to parents. They will have equal rights and duties to the children. They must put their personal feelings aside and work together when it comes to making decisions concerning their child. It’s been said, “Do you love your children more than you hate your ex?”
Many people misconstrue the meaning of joint custody. It doesn't mean the child spends the same amount of time with each parent. It actually involves the division of responsibilities. This can be done two ways. Either they share all responsibilities concerning the child's education, healthcare, and extracurricular activities, or they divide responsibilities depending on the custody agreement, such as one parent manages the child's education, while the other oversees their healthcare. Some believe joint custody does away with the need for child support, but this is not true. Child support is meant to cover the child's education, healthcare, and living expenses, not simply supplement one parent's income. Texas has what’s called guideline child support. There is a formula where you take the payor’s income calculates the child support. The court then orders the amount of child support. However, things work out, both parents are responsible for the child's welfare just as if the divorce had never happened.
Now that they are co-parents, or have equal responsibilities in the care of the child, how is this in the child's best interest?
- Parents must get along or at least attempt to. The goal is to keep as much of the adult drama out of the child's life as possible, providing the child with a calm environment.
- Parents must remember their parenting plan. Parents should work together to complete a parenting plan, outlining how they would work together on a daily basis when caring for the child. This plan is put into a court order. Now they must abide by that plan in order to minimize the disorder in the child's routine.
- Parents have to communicate with each other. Parents must agree to keep each other informed about everything that involves the child. Both parents must be made aware of school activities, such as open houses, and as well as after school activities, such as sports and music. They must also make clear schedules concerning school pick-ups and drop-offs and discuss changing assigned visitation time for special occasions. Constant communication in advance of activities keeps the child's life orderly and allows them to have both parents at important events. Many courts order parents to use a co-parenting app to facilitate communication. One free app the courts readily use is AppClose. It has a calendar, texting, and a way to pay money to the other parent.
- Parents must discuss extra costs. Although the court sets financial responsibilities, extra costs do come up in a child's life, such as registration fees for activities, uniforms, supplies, etc. By discussing these issues beforehand, they can't accuse each other of “just not wanting to pay.” It’s best to discuss beforehand what expenses you agree to split.
- Finally, parents must be flexible. This sums it all up. Schedules change at the last minute. Drop-off/pick up schedules change, holiday schedules change, sports events change. Things as minor as a sudden birthday party or a last-minute invitation to a movie that requires a ride can mean one parent covers for the other or loses some time with the child. This flexibility may even help parents become more amicable.
Ultimately, joint custody provides emotional stability and a safe environment for children. For parents, sharing responsibilities and putting the child's needs before their own allows them to stay active in their child's life. In the end, it’s all about the kids.